A letter to my unborn son.

Hi Noma,

It’s me, Mom!

In less than a week’s time, you will be in my arms, having just turned our world’s completely upside down. I am so so excited!

The past 8 or so months have been insane, as we were not prepared for the journey your little self would take us.

Leading up to pregnancy, I told myself I wanted to be one of those chill girls who doesn’t act like she’s the first person on the planet to get pregnant, but now looking back at 37 weeks, it kind of turned into that. J Oh well.

Your stay in my belly has been quite eventful, and I’m sorry if you felt all the turbulence that went on. The 20 insane weeks of vomiting and being sick were bearable, but I can’t help but think that all the stress that I dealt with had an effect on you. The doctor’s say there was no cause, but my mommy heart can’t help but constantly think to myself, “what if I just let those things go and focused more on growing you inside”. 

My hope is that you come out and you shock everyone by being a good sized, normal boy! If not, that’s okay too.  If all else fails, you can blame your Dad… who, until yesterday, told me you’re small because he was a tiny baby at barely over 6 pounds. Well guess what? We found his birth certificate yesterday and he was 7 pounds and 7 ounces! Bigger than me! Haha.

Noma, I hope you’re ready to come out… because we are ready for you to hurry up and join our family! This year, 6 of your cousins were born! -with one still on the way! Sure, they are all in different parts of the world, but it is definitely a record for us. I can’t wait for you to make relationships with them and to watch you grow up having so much fun with your cousins. J Not to mention your grandparents are super ecstatic about your impending arrival, and you are already so loved by so many aunties and uncles. Do me a favor and grow up chak-hae so you can continue to be easily loved. I will try to teach you all the Korean etiquette and manners, so you can blend those things in with your Dad’s ways that I’m sure you’ll take after. We saw your face in an ultrasound last week, and you look just like him already! He said you look like a weasel; little does he know he looks like a weasel, too. Hehe.

Oh! I forgot to mention! You also have a big sister that I hope you really really love. Right now I think she is feeling a certain way because she senses that something major is about to happen, but I think you guys will really really love each other. She is an awesome doggy, and right now she is Mommy’s best companion, but if you want to steal her to be your best friend instead, I can deal with that. What’s mine is yours.

Noms, I’m not going to be the world’s most perfect mom. I have enough trouble taking care of myself, and I was even voted “Most likely to never grow up” in high school. I’m super childish, immature, and often times still count on Grandma or Dad to take care of my crap. Hopefully these mother instincts kick in naturally. All I can say is that I will try my best. I will try to be patient and think of you before I think of my own needs, I will try to make sure you grow up eating healthier than I did, and I will try to create a happy and inspiring environment for you to flourish in. Dad and I already have so many things we want to teach you.  At times we may be lazy or short to anger, but please don’t take those things to heart. It will be a learning process for us, too.

Noms, my son! You are everything I ever wanted in this world! The love of our lives! I didn't know it until recently, but you are. I am going to love you so fiercely! Until it is time to let you go and be some lucky girl’s husband. Then I will try to back off and be a chill mother-in-law so your wife doesn’t give you crap. Please come out healthy and strong!