Hi guys.

I was so touched last week by all the friends who reached out to me with messages of encouragement and concern. Thank you so, so much. They really helped me out so much and fed me with a lot of optimism and positivity.

Just thought I should update you all. My doctor ended up calling me back that day and referred me to see another specialist at a fetal center. To put it simply, a doctor for high-risk pregnancies. I know it sounds super scary, but I guess it’s always better to be safe and take precaution.

Fast forward to today’s appointment; Brian and I were optimistic last week and hoping for just a smaller baby, being that Brian was born quite small himself. After a more thorough exam today, they found that Noms is pretty consistently in the 20^th percentile which is OK, but there were some areas that were more concerning.

I will just put it simply, she gave me three possible scenarios.

The first- best case scenario, is that he is just a really small Asian baby.

Second- chromosome issues. I had the genetic testing done at around 10 weeks and was cleared for syndromes and defects, but this does not mean that we are totally in the clear. The test that I took specifically specialized in detecting down syndrome, and that doesn’t seem to be the case, but the doctor mentioned that it could be something else, ie: dwarfism. This is not what she thinks, but just a possibility.

Lastly, and this the most likely scenario, is that my placenta is ceasing to work. She found that my placenta was thickening, which means it is not functioning as well. My amniotic fluid was also low, which is why we have not been able to see his face in the ultrasounds. Apparently, you need to have a lot of fluid around the face for it to show well. This is not good news, obviously. A not functioning placenta and low amniotic fluid is dangerous to the baby, and it also means he is not getting enough nutrition, which is probably why he isn’t growing much.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to make my placenta work again. I actually asked her if it would help if I ate more, but if the placenta isn’t working, the extra food I eat would only go to me, and not Noma, so it’s pretty pointless.

Obviously I felt so bad, like the worst mother ever, but she told me it is unlikely that I did anything wrong to cause this. Basically, it is what it is.

So what next?

Just a whole lot of monitoring.  I will be going to see both this specialist and my regular OB once a week each. Thank the Lord I don’t work, because driving to Beverly Hills twice a week from South Bay is so dang tiring. -______- Haha. 

Anyhow, we will have to keep monitoring Noma’s growth very closely, and if he continues to not grow, in other words- if he is being starved, we will probably have to schedule a c-section early so he can come out and finish developing in an incubator.

I have never been pregnant before so this is all very very overwhelming and scary… so continued prayers would be greatly appreciated. Please pray that he develops more and continuous to grow, so that I can carry him to full term. My goal is at least 36 weeks. I hate to sound dramatic, and I also find this all extremely personal to share on the internet, but the only comfort I am finding right now is in the Lord and prayers, which is why I am sharing. Brian and I are disheartened as you can imagine, but there really isn’t anything we can do other than take it easy and hope for the best. So that is what we will continue to do for our boy. 

And so basically that's it as far as today’s update goes. Oh and also, this is kind of weird, but if you are reading this and happen to be mine or Brian’s relative (more so Brian’s I guess), I ask that you keep this news to yourself, as I have not decided at the moment if I would like to share with immediate family just yet (other than my mom- who went to my appt. with me). Still trying to digest all this news and wait for a more productive solution before we tell them. I def don’t want to stress them out with worry.  I think it would stress me out even more. :P Thanks so much, you guys.  I will definitely keep everyone posted.